Wouldn't you like to be a hippie too?

I'll admit that I've always had a bit of a fringe streak. In high school, my skater friends called me "Grateful Kate" (though for the record there's nothing I hate more than jam bands, The Dead included). I never really embraced space dancing or tie dye, but I always tried to live gently and mindfully.

As an adult I've tried to walk the line between our urban reality & our farm fantasies and as a mom I'm trying to mind our family footprint.

Living in NYC there are a few things we have going for us from the start. We have access to awesome public transportation and we use it. Sure the subway can be maddening -- it seems always to be too hot or too cold, too smelly, too crowded & too slow -- but it makes this city work and is often the best/fastest/easiest way to get from point A to point B. I'll admit that I tend to avoid taking the stroller on the subway because it means I'll have to navigate stairs & locked gates, but I'm sure I'll get used to it. So yeah, we drive little & subway much.

We live in a small space. There is no space in our apartment that isn't used and used well. Yes I often long for modern conveniences like a dishwasher, garbage disposal, washer/dryer and would LOVE to have a coat closet, designated parking, a yard or space for a garden, and a second bathroom, but it feels good to live so small. I once had a friend visiting from Cali tell me that he loved my kitchen because it was organized so that everything was in arm's reach. I pointed out that my kitchen was so small that if it wasn't in arm's reach it was in the living room. The point is that I'm proud of how we use our space. We aren't afraid to reorganize so that we're making the most of what little we have.

Brooklyn is the height of neighborhood living. We could live our entire lives within a 15 block radius. Hospital, funeral home, clothing stores, food shops, book stores, five & dime, butcher, bakery -- you name it, we can walk to it. Because of this concentration of commerce, we can live our entire lives on the shoe leather express. Now you know why we splashed out for a fancy stroller. Keeping it in the hood is a great way to keep it green.

In terms of baby stuff we're trying to make green choices. G diapers instead of disposables (LOVE the flushable option -- no diaper stink in our house). Organic formula. We're planning to make as much baby food as we can (hopefully with locally grown organic produce from our CSA). We clean the house with baking soda & white vinegar (though we don't combine the two as that would turn cleaning day into a science fair). We buy organic & local when we can.

I think that's the point of all of this. We do what we can. Yes, we'd love to be canning the products of our garden and living off of its bounty all winter, but we have to come to grips with the fact that we don't have a garden to grow veggies in or a pantry in which to store its fruits. I'm not saying that we give ourselves a pass because we live in the city. I like to think that the benefits of the city and the concessions to city living tend to balance out.

My challenge to everyone is to do what you can. If we all did a little bit to "green up" our lives, the collective benefit would be great. Here are a few suggestions of little ways to make a big difference...

1. Buy a stainless steel water bottle. Plastic is bad for the environment, but it's also bad for you. Drink your water from the tap (tap water is more tightly regulated than bottled water) out of a reusable metal bottle rather than buying plastic bottles of water.
2. Replace your Comet with baking soda. You'll be amazed how well baking soda works to scour your sinks & tubs. And it's CHEAP.
3. Walk more. Don't let me catch you moving your car around within a strip mall parking lot. If I can carry all of my everything up and down five flights of stairs, you can walk from Target to Bed Bath and Beyond.

So put on some Joni Mitchell and think about what you can do to be a little more mindful of your footprint. Remember that when Kermit said, "It ain't easy being green," he wasn't talking about environmental living.

Rainy Day Shopping

I call it the law of inverse reality. The less money I have, the more I shop. I am totally in the hole right now and yet I'm spending IK's nap cruising the internet rather than cleaning the bathroom, running the roomba, putting away the laundry, etc.

Here's what I have my eye on...

• G Diapers: IK's soon going to outgrow her small sized G's so we need to get some mediums. I keep seeing G diaper banner ads with all sorts of cool colors and prints, but they're not actually for sale on their website. I imagine that maybe they're selling down their current stock (which seems to be dwindling as many of the colors they do have are sold out in certain sizes) in anticipation of launching these new patterns, but come on people don't tease! You know how I feel about delaying gratification.
• Svan Highchair: Yes, you're right, IK's not eating solid food and she can't sit up yet, but the SVAN is on sale!
• Ecotobi Envirosax: Now I know I have PLENTY of canvas bags from professional conferences in which to carry my groceries, but damn, these are cute.
• Some sort of vintage or vintage looking locket that I can put IK's photo in to wear to work (Frau Von Schnellinger... I KNOW I'm a dork so you don't have to tell me).
• Baby food freezer containers: I'm trying to motivate to make some baby food out of this summer's bounty (AKA our CSA stuff that we can't manage to eat in a week). I have a food mill and a food processor, but I need some sort of container to freeze the food in. I could go low cost and get a couple of extra ice cube trays and a box of freezer bags (freeze the food into cube sized servings & then store the cubes in labeled freezer bags). Or, I could get something like these freeze and serve cups. Maybe I'll start with ice trays.
  

Ahhh. There's so much great stuff to buy out there on the internet. Guess I'll go pay my AmEx bill to bring myself back to reality. This is the major perk of going back to work. Give me six weeks of paychecks to dig myself out and this internet shopping train will be back on track!

Reality, crashing

Ever since IK was born, folks have been asking me if I like motherhood. I freaking love it. I mean what's not to love? You get to hang out with a baby who gets more and more interesting every day. You bask in the unconditional love. You spend early mornings snuggling her tiny bod & afternoons drinking iced tea in the park while she snoozes in the stroller. You watch the balance in your checking account dwindle to nothing.

So yeah, motherhood is great. Motherhood on maternity leave is totally awesome. And then there's working motherhood.

The last four months have flown by & it's time for me to go back to work. I'm really excited about it. I think it will be great for IK to spend some more quality time with her dad & I'm looking forward to having something to talk about other than her. OK, OK, so I'm freaking out a bit. I'm mostly nervous that I don't remember my job, but I'm sure it's like riding a bike (she said hopefully).

Which isn't to say that I don't get nauseous every time I think about tomorrow. I feel like the last 3.5 months has been "la-la motherhood" in which I got to spend all day every day with her. Now we're leaving fairy land and entering reality.

Wish me luck! Wish us all luck. I know she'll be fine & will have an awesome day with her dad... I just hope that I don't sob all the way to the subway.

When cleaning house gets the better of me

We're going to this fancy evening wedding in Hollywood in August & I've had no luck finding something to wear. Post-preg lbs + huge boobs = nothing in my closet fits (I was trying all my dresses on back on the day that IK pooped on her bouncy chair). Add into the mix the state of my bank account in these waning days of my maternity leave and you see the problem.

I was mulling things over on the car ride back from Jersey yesterday when I had a stroke of genius. If I fit into the floor length black strapless boho chiffon number that I wore to my friend's wedding in Atlanta about five years ago, I could hack the hem off below the knee and it might actually look tres au courant. It has one of those unfinished hems anyway so I wouldn't even need to bother sewing it -- maybe just sneak a nail scissors into my clutch in case I noticed any stray threads on the way into the reception. Problem solved!

So today, I bided my time until Mr. Stewgler left for "work" (by which I mean that he's probably on his way to the apple store for an iphone) & topped of IK so she'd doze and then I dove into the nether regions of my closet.

And it's gone.

Believe me, I triple checked. I even looked on Mr's side in case I stashed it over there one day when its long-ass hem was getting in my way. Gone. I stood there stumped for a moment and then had a hazy vision of myself packing it carefully into a trash bag with a bunch of old college counselor clothes to take to the Goodwill.

Damn.

Sleeping Like a Baby

Recently Jen over at Surviving Wyoming sent me an article from Slate about "Ferberizing" your baby. It's gotten me thinking about baby sleep.

I should start out by saying that Baby Stewgler is good sleeper. She started sleeping 6-8 hours at a stretch when she was six weeks old and has been sleeping 11+ hours since she was about three months old. What can I say? She's an awesome baby. She's like a special emissary from the society for Irish Twins.

I won't pretend to be an expert on sleep because, frankly, I feel like I got lucky. I feel a little guilty even bringing it up. I felt similarly guilty one day in mom/baby yoga class when all of the other mom's started bemoaning their 6, 12 & 18 month old babies' sleep patterns, or lack thereof. I had the youngest baby in the class by far & she was clearly the best sleeper. I can't necessarily take credit for it, but I'll share our thoughts about sleep in the hopes that maybe our ideas might help the sleepless.

First let's start with Jen's question... No, we're not "ferberizing" Baby Stewgler. Which is to say that I never read his book & don't know the specific tenets of his sleep plan. I saw that Ben Stiller movie, but that's pretty much all I know about Ferber.

My main advice is this... talk with your partner about your plans for baby sleep before he/she's born. I'm convinced that WHATEVER sleep plan you implement you're better off if you get it going from day one. Co-sleep or crib, cry it out or rock 'em to sleep -- you should have a plan in advance.

So here's what we decided in our house...

1. IK sleeps in a crib. It's in a different room (OK, it's a closet -- in NYC you have to be creative). I think it's good for her to have her own space & we appreciate that we have our own space too. My sense (from vacations and visits to Nana's where we have IK in our room) is that sharing a room makes you hyper-reactive to the baby's mid-night noises. There have been many times when I've heard IK make noises on the monitor & I've found that many times she quickly goes back to sleep on her own. I guess my point is that you should ignore the first few noises. If she's really awake you'll know it soon enough. If she's not really waking up, you're better off if you let her drift off again rather than reaching for her and waking her up for sure.

2. IK will sometimes cry it out. When we put her to bed we are sure that all of her needs are met -- clean diaper, tight swaddle, full belly, binky, etc. If she cries, we'll sometimes give her binky back a few times, but we're also not afraid to let her cry. When we put her down, we set a timer for 15 minutes. If, after 15 minutes, she's still crying we go back and reassess. We might feed her a little more or hold her for a little while. In her life, she has only ONCE cried for more than 15 minutes. These days she cries for about five minutes. Sure, even those five are torture and when she was only days old it was heart breaking to hear her cry, but I'm glad we did it. I recommend setting the timer because each minute of crying feels like a lifetime & having a running timer helps you keep it all in perspective. Credit for the timer idea is due to IK's Nonna. Worked for the last generation & seems to be working for this one.

3. We're not afraid to depend on crutches. IK's Nonna sent her a "Sleep Sheep" which we set to ocean noises -- in the early days the white noise really helped (people also recommended running the vacuum or setting a radio to static). We also have a music box which works as a distraction technique when she's crying -- she seems to like to listen to it and will often quiet down so she can hear it. She loves watching her mobile and will often drift off while mesmerized. The swaddle is key -- even at 3.5 months old we still swaddle her at night. We'll stop doing it when she seems like she's fighting it, but even now she seems to relax once she's swaddled. I think many of these crutches turn into sleep cues & she's learning that crib + swaddle + mobile + music + ocean noise = bed.

4. Feeding. As I've mentioned before, because of breast milk production problems on my part IK has been getting some formula from the beginning. I think it's helped her sleep because it seems to stick to her ribs a bit more than breast milk. Our pediatrician agrees. She was telling me that she'd noticed that during her residency when she worked at a hospital clinic with a population that largely bottle fed their babies she rarely got questions about sleep. Now that she's in private practice in a tony Brooklyn neighborhood where her patients are predominantly breast fed she spends all day talking about sleep problems. An unscientific study, no doubt, but interesting. According to my mom (who's a family NP) babies over nine pounds don't "need" mid-night feedings -- meaning that they have sufficient reserves to get through the night without eating. IK's Nana also recommends that you don't make the mid-night feedings a party -- turn on as few lights as possible, don't turn on the TV, don't make it fun for the baby or else they might start waking up just because they're looking forward to seeing you and the fiesta you create for them.

5. Remember that you can't will your baby to sleep. In IK's first few days at home I made the mistake of thinking that she wouldn't fall asleep if I didn't rock her. She was clearly tired but as much as I rocked her she just wouldn't quiet down and sleep. That's when Mr. Stewgler passed on his mom's advice that we should meet all of her needs & then feel OK about putting her down. I do believe that babies need to learn how to fall asleep on their own. This means that they need to be AWAKE when you put them in their bed. Sometimes it feels like tough love, but I have every confidence that it will pay dividends down the line. In fact, it already seems to be paying off.

So, yeah, the thing about Ferber, or any of these sleep specialists is that they pretend that all babies are the same. They're not. I know that & you know that. You just have to make a plan, try to stick to it & hope for the best. When IK's dad and I talked about baby sleep, we tried to imagine what we'll hope bedtime will be like when she's, say, three years old. We want her to have a consistent routine -- bath before bed, story time before bed, bed time at a vaguely regular time each night & then that's it, she's in her bed drifting off to la la land with no great battles. Because that's what we're working toward, her infant sleep routine is largely the same. Think of it this way, you don't want your ten year old in your bed or needing to be rocked to sleep at his first sleep-over.

I don't know how it will work out over time. She's such a good baby that we know we're going to have the pay the piper eventually -- maybe she'll rebel and announce that she wants to be a tri-delt in college, maybe her younger sibling(s) will be a total disaster. In the mean time we're working to create a routine so that she knows what to expect from us & as a benefit we're learning what to expect from her. It's proven to be a great balance.

On vacation

Hey peeps --

Sorry I've been totally MIA lately. Thanks to the largess of IK's Nana (who paid for a big family beach house in Sea Isle City) & her Uncle Steve (who always invites us to his dad's incredible place in Brigantine when he comes up from Brazil) we've spent the last few weeks at the beautiful and exotic Jersey shore. That's the beach in NJ for those of you in Cali who've never actualy heard anyone use the word "shore" in a sentence. We've been lounging around & eating ice cream & generally living the good life. IK's dad is surfing the ground swell kicked up by hurricane Bertha. IK got to spend some QT with her cousins -- a.k.a. "the entertainment committee". I actually managed to take a run -- my first real postpartum cardio. Of course the same day I burned my shoulders so bad that I have yet to put my sports bra back on. Oh well.

But anyway, for all six of you who read this, sorry there's been some radio silence.